“I will not give them back to you”: a mother from Charente faced with the non-representation of children


She had, she said, put a lot of good will into it. They lived together for eight years, in the Paris region, then in Cognac. He was from the construction industry, she was an educator. She “worked like crazy and took care of the house and the children”. The couple separated in 2020. She took the children to Nantes a few times. In the summer he even took them on vacation to Portugal. “And in May 2021 he left the territory, never came to see his children”says the mother. “There were irregular telephone contacts by video or call”. They have however “decided by mutual agreement that the children would spend a fortnight last Christmas in Portugal. I even offered one more week, since they hadn’t seen their dad for a long time”.

He didn’t take care of them, didn’t give anything for years. It is even the CAF which pays the pension!

She did not expect the explosion that destroyed her. “Otherwise, I would never have entrusted my children to her.” Nor did she expect him to “starts a procedure against me for abuse and negligence. Coming from him, it could be funny”, Elodie gets carried away. “He didn’t take care of them, didn’t give anything for years. It is even the CAF which pays the pension! » She had just “felt something in my stomach when I dropped off the children. He was with his girlfriend. It reassured me”. Since then, no one has taken her on the phone. Contacts with the children are spaced out, rarefied.

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Élodie, who has rebuilt her life, who has settled with her companion and the children in Hiersac, who is expecting twins, understood that he wanted to make her pay for the separation. “I’m on the initiative. He uses the children for that”. She understood that her daughter was also angry with her, because of the separation. That she thought her daddy had abandoned her. “She verbalizes it. She wants to live with him. Élodie is especially worried about her little brother. “He was only two years old when his dad left. » She felt it. His son has changed, appears uncomfortable on the visios. “I feel disturbed. On the phone, I no longer hear his smile.loose Élodie, stifling a sob.

She filed a complaint. She knows that in the absence of a court decision, parental authority is shared, that the dad has rights. But she also knows that the habitual residence of the children is in France, that they have always lived with her. “It’s clearly a subtraction”, she says. She no longer knows what her children are doing “when they should be here at school”. She has the children’s identity papers, the family booklet. She is now awaiting an assignment date in Angoulême. “I’m sure he won’t come.”

Émilie Lagarde, his lawyer, shares his opinion. “There’s no chance he’ll come, but the main thing is to have judgment. He has as many rights as her over the children. she concedes. But the texts also indicate that the refusal to bring the child back to his usual home constitutes a “parental abduction”, a non-representation of the child. But settling disputes is always tricky. Even with a quick judgement, “the difficulty is to have it executed”, underline Me Emilie Lagarde. “It depends on the agreements between countries. The fact that we are in Europe makes things easier. » Above all, she insists, “we measure the usefulness of seizing the family court judge as soon as the separation occurs. It can be grasped without conflict, when all is well. We act on a situation ». By taking the lead.

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